Oh my god, if only!!! I’d be able to orchestrate the whole experience for everyone. Scheduled bathroom and snack breaks. Brain breaks. Move your body breaks. A little Q&A…
After a dear teacher friend of mine got head lice at the movie theater that did it for me. If I even attempt to sit in one of those seats my scalp starts itching!😂I’m with you 💯 per cent! Xo💜
Very entertaining and humorous piece. I refuse to go to the movies. Not just because I tend to dislike most movies (there are a handful of exceptions), but because I have this strange issue where I can't stop thinking about what I'll do if there's a threat. How I'll disarm the attacker, how he might enter, how I can rescue the people in the theater. It's exhausting but I can't stop it.
JUSTIN!!! This is also me. I’m looking at those red exit signs like they’re talking to me. We are all enclosed in one space….YOU DON’T KNOW. I’m also the same in basically any enclosed space haha. But in a theatre, I’m like… why did I pay you to make me mentally beat up so many people.
I went to the movies this week, for the first time in many years. One person kept talking, one person kept their phone on until after it started. One persons alarm went off (to remind them to take their pills).
There were only four of us in the cinema. Three too many.
“all of us want to pee, talk, eat, lie down while being entertained”. Haha Christopher always with the bangers. And you are definitely spot on. Thanks for joining me on this journey
As I was reading and giggling through this, I thought, “Yeah, but I bet Abbey doesn’t actually fall asleep at the movies…” And then you casually drop that you do—if you slouch down. At that point, I was torn between feeling completely seen and mildly concerned that you’ve somehow been reading my mind.
Also, you published this last year on Medium? So you knew I’d relate before I even found it? That’s just showing off, really, haha!
Me!!! ✋️ "and instead just stain all of my clothes every day. The sheer concept of right now saying I will do something at some point for a specific amount of time makes me so uncomfortable. "
I love watching movies at home. I don’t remember the last movie I went see. I like the ability to pause when I need to pee, I like to eat whatever I want at a relatively reasonable price. I do wish I could kick the child out, (they are rather annoying during a movie), but I can always wait for bedtime.
I feel this in my bones ABBEY! I have gone to ONE movie in the last 25yrs. For my son’s 10th birthday and that was the only gift I gave him. Kidding, but for real it was a BIG ask. I hate hate hate being trapped in there.
Abbey! Something we disagree on! With a caveat. I agree wholeheartedly about the self-indulgence of looooooooonnnnnngggggg ass movies. Totally unnecessary. But a good movie- a very well-done movie leaves me thinking about it for days. I love all mediums of storytelling done right. But, don’t get me wrong, taking my kid to see Sonic 12 at one of those lazy-boy theaters? Most expensive nap of my life.
Hahaha I think we do actually align here. I’m an actor and do love a well done film. Absolutely. I just (mainly) do not like the damn movie theatre. I’d much rather wait for it to stream, after the hype, and be able to pause as many times as I want
You wear many hats! Actor, chef, writer? All creative, so not surprising. And yes, I do love streaming at home in small bites. Especially because my husband gets annoyed when I fall asleep on the couch midway through. It’s as if he made the movie.
You made me laugh so hard with this! I can imagine you waltzing around the theatre with a remote. Hahaha!
Oh my god, if only!!! I’d be able to orchestrate the whole experience for everyone. Scheduled bathroom and snack breaks. Brain breaks. Move your body breaks. A little Q&A…
I can imagine, Abbey. 🤣
This is the type of humor and whit I need from Substack
Josh!!!!!! My new friend. Thanks, love. How’s your day been treating you?
Days been going, I'm just glad it's Friday. I'm looking forward to do some fun things this weekend.
I can't get over you being allergic to popcorn. Popcorn is a food group to me.
Hahahahahaha I know right?!! Also? Corn is in EVERYTHING. Not very fun over here
After a dear teacher friend of mine got head lice at the movie theater that did it for me. If I even attempt to sit in one of those seats my scalp starts itching!😂I’m with you 💯 per cent! Xo💜
Ahhhh!!! Yes. The lice!! That’s a whole other thing. Ooof yep hahaha
This is amazing. I loved every word of reading it. I feel it. I connect with it. Funny and lovely view inwards. Thank you 🙏
Jess!!! That’s so kind of you!! Thank you so much ❤️
You are welcome! Hope today was kind to you Abbey and I look forward to reading more of your writing 💜
You know what? Thank you for that. Yesterday was not that kind. Today feels like it will be❤️
Hey, you are so welcome. Let pockets of loveliness and well wishes abound 💜
Very entertaining and humorous piece. I refuse to go to the movies. Not just because I tend to dislike most movies (there are a handful of exceptions), but because I have this strange issue where I can't stop thinking about what I'll do if there's a threat. How I'll disarm the attacker, how he might enter, how I can rescue the people in the theater. It's exhausting but I can't stop it.
JUSTIN!!! This is also me. I’m looking at those red exit signs like they’re talking to me. We are all enclosed in one space….YOU DON’T KNOW. I’m also the same in basically any enclosed space haha. But in a theatre, I’m like… why did I pay you to make me mentally beat up so many people.
I went to the movies this week, for the first time in many years. One person kept talking, one person kept their phone on until after it started. One persons alarm went off (to remind them to take their pills).
There were only four of us in the cinema. Three too many.
Hahaha. Three too many. Oh no. This is a terrible cinema experience for you!! We need a support group
>”I know I can’t actually run up and down the aisles and ask for more fruit snacks…”
…oh, but I think you can! And absolutely must. ☺️
Delightful romp, Abbey.
Haha. Paul. Next time I’m in a movie theatre, I’mma do it.
(also thank you❤️)
ya better!
Will probably need video proof or I could be lying
I trust you. Besides…who’d lie about such a thing.
You’ll be so tickled you’ll burst at the seams waiting to tell me all about it. 🤣
Hahah right. Like, PAUL!! I did it. I ran with my fruit snacks!!
Exactly!
That right there is why streaming is soaring and box office is shrinking
Oh, and now they can only make comic book movies to make a profit, because all of us want to pee, talk, eat, lie down while being entertained
So you my friend are not alone, you’re just watching another business model slowly die
“all of us want to pee, talk, eat, lie down while being entertained”. Haha Christopher always with the bangers. And you are definitely spot on. Thanks for joining me on this journey
This piece was great, thanks! I'm also such an internal rebel!
Ahhhh we rebels always find each other. And thank you!!❤️
And why spend all that money when you can just wait a few weeks and watch from the comfort of your own couch curled up next to your dog?
Oh my gosh yes. Exactly yes. I don’t mind waiting. Don’t care.
As I was reading and giggling through this, I thought, “Yeah, but I bet Abbey doesn’t actually fall asleep at the movies…” And then you casually drop that you do—if you slouch down. At that point, I was torn between feeling completely seen and mildly concerned that you’ve somehow been reading my mind.
Also, you published this last year on Medium? So you knew I’d relate before I even found it? That’s just showing off, really, haha!
Ditto on everything by the way… naturally 😎
Haha amazing. Of course I published it knowing you were out there and we’d find each other one day!! Sisters always find each other ;-) xxx
Me!!! ✋️ "and instead just stain all of my clothes every day. The sheer concept of right now saying I will do something at some point for a specific amount of time makes me so uncomfortable. "
Hahahahahhaa I love that you get that. It makes me itch. Don’t like it
I love watching movies at home. I don’t remember the last movie I went see. I like the ability to pause when I need to pee, I like to eat whatever I want at a relatively reasonable price. I do wish I could kick the child out, (they are rather annoying during a movie), but I can always wait for bedtime.
I fully understand this!!!! The being able to pause to pee is necessary. Snack options too. Absolutely
I feel this in my bones ABBEY! I have gone to ONE movie in the last 25yrs. For my son’s 10th birthday and that was the only gift I gave him. Kidding, but for real it was a BIG ask. I hate hate hate being trapped in there.
How are we the same person!!? This relationship just keeps getting better. I’m so glad we’re in love
Truly in love! This is so so funny. I’m gonna read again now!
Aww💋💋💋💋💋
Abbey! Something we disagree on! With a caveat. I agree wholeheartedly about the self-indulgence of looooooooonnnnnngggggg ass movies. Totally unnecessary. But a good movie- a very well-done movie leaves me thinking about it for days. I love all mediums of storytelling done right. But, don’t get me wrong, taking my kid to see Sonic 12 at one of those lazy-boy theaters? Most expensive nap of my life.
Hahaha I think we do actually align here. I’m an actor and do love a well done film. Absolutely. I just (mainly) do not like the damn movie theatre. I’d much rather wait for it to stream, after the hype, and be able to pause as many times as I want
You wear many hats! Actor, chef, writer? All creative, so not surprising. And yes, I do love streaming at home in small bites. Especially because my husband gets annoyed when I fall asleep on the couch midway through. It’s as if he made the movie.
Ahhh hahaha!!! As if he made the movie. That’s gold