47 Comments
User's avatar
Joanie Madsen's avatar

You put Ann Landers and Dear Abby right out of business. They are lucky you weren’t around yet! You have the biggest heart, and tell it like it is. I love that about you, Abbey! We all need you in our corner! Xo😘💞

Abbey Wade's avatar

Awww Joanie!! Haha you’re so sweet. Thank you so much!!!

Aidan Alan's avatar

How can a good guy write to Abbey to get questions answered

Abbey Wade's avatar

You can comment here or DM me! And you’ll be anonymous. And if you don’t even want me to know it’s you, have a friend do it! Either way, if you want to stay anonymous like this one and a lot of others have, I will keep you private

Candy Downs's avatar

She will tell me tho 😏 jk

Aidan Alan's avatar

I'm going to write to her about you now

Candy Downs's avatar

Oh fuck me.

Tom Van Valkenburgh's avatar

What a kind and useful response.

I would have asked SiS about his expectations for women that he wants to be with. Does he seek a certain height, BMI or breast size? Does he have a threshold for facial prettiness? The goose is at least as insecure as the gander, both driven by the marketing of the beauty and fashion industry.

I love your Golden Rule guidelines for grooming and appearance. If both partners present themselves as if they care enough about their own health and appearance and about the comfort of their partner, more fun will be had and less anxious intercourse of all kinds will occur.

Jessie Laverton's avatar

I have a strong, doughy man at home and I absolutely agree with every word of this 🥰

Abbey Wade's avatar

Yessss Jessie!!! I love this so much. It’s not said enough. And these men need to know. Thank you 💋

1001 Paperclips's avatar

Smooth like Tennessee whiskey not slick like a greased dolphin.

Abbey Wade's avatar

That’s it! Haha yep. Exactly, Chad.

Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Abbbbey!!! I love this piece and idea so much.

Abbey Wade's avatar

Awww Andrea thank you!! I really appreciate that ❤️❤️❤️

Mahmoud Owies's avatar

Dear Abbey,

Please teach me everything you know

Mahmoud Owies's avatar

I'm literally listening to your voice now 😂

Abbey Wade's avatar

Ha!!! Amazing!!

Brain of J-Hawk (he/him)'s avatar

I learned a lot from that. Mostly the amount of work it takes to get “ripped” and then maintain it. It seems like some have to sacrifice emotional closeness to do it.

Abbey Wade's avatar

That’s been my experience, and I certainly don’t mean to pass judgment on that lifestyle. And having been a part of that culture for years, I can speak from it directly. But with this particular question, I felt it needed to be clearly addressed!

Thank you so much for reading, J!!❤️

Brain of J-Hawk (he/him)'s avatar

I certainly sensed no judgement. In some ways it gives me more of an appreciation for it.

Abbey Wade's avatar

Thank you. I really appreciate that so much

Bear Wiseman's avatar

Yaaaaas! People who look too perfect on the outside are usually red flags for people with emotional intelligence. Not all fit people, of course, but all of this is so valid. I've gained about 10kg in more recent years, and nothing makes me happier than knowing my partner digs it. He loved me when I was think and he almost seems even more attracted to me with a lil extra cushion for the pushin'. And the more he validates my body and expresses joy in it, the more I get comfortable with it. That respect and adoration then goes both ways as he's starting to gain some weight too for the same reasons.

Abbey be wise. Listen to Abbey 💞🔥

Abbey Wade's avatar

Bear!! I love this!! I’ve been there too, and knowing that you’re still accepted and desired no matter the extra cushion is the best feeling. I really loved this question so much and was really honored to tackle it. Thank you, sweetness xo

Rick. Rick. Rick.'s avatar

Thankfully being a bad man is simply easier in most respects.

I think I forgot how to spell conniption.

Abbey Wade's avatar

I had to look it up. It’s a tricky one

Ginger Cook (GC)'s avatar

Faaaaabulous response!!

Abbey Wade's avatar

Aww thank you Ginger!! Love you

Ginger Cook (GC)'s avatar

Love youuu ❤️

Candy Downs's avatar

Also “from tongue to testicle” is the best line I’ve read ever.

Abbey Wade's avatar

Bahahaha kind of love that too yep

Steve Holliday's avatar

Your a beautiful woman, you have to be really smart, what do you think would help men understand how to pamper women

Abbey Wade's avatar

Also thank you for the kind compliments

Abbey Wade's avatar

This is great, Steve! Thank you for this. I’m saving it!!

Candy Downs's avatar

Abbey! This is so fucking good. I actually teared up and I’m not even pms-ing. What a great start to what is going to be an amazing series. I love this. I love you. ❤️

Abbey Wade's avatar

Candy!!! Ok now I’m crying. Thank you so much!! I love you!!!!

Candy Downs's avatar

♥️♥️♥️

1001 Paperclips's avatar

Ok, wasn't ready for this but I don't ignore coincidences. Was listening to White Horses by Chris Staplenton. There's something there. I'm not smart enough to piece it all together.

Abbey Wade's avatar

Oh damn, Chad! Something there for sure! It'll surface when it's ready to ;-)

1001 Paperclips's avatar

something about wanting a cowboy AND on a white horse.

Abbey Wade's avatar

Right! Yep. Absolutely

Marlana aka Outtamydamnmind's avatar

SS, this gave me hope for my own ‘doughy edges.’ I’ll take being the novel over the postcard any day.✨

Are We There Yet?'s avatar

This is good info, if not a bit long.

Came here to say this:

“What women really want, in the physical sense, is a man who looks like he takes care of himself.”

This is the long as short of it. If you take care and pride in your personal appearance and health it shows and women find that attractive.

Also treating us well and always with respect.

If you can nail those two things, you’re golden.

Abbey Wade's avatar

Big fan of words! This was a tender subject and a tenderly worded question that needed the same amount of attention and tenderness attached to it.

Thanks so much for reading!!

Are We There Yet?'s avatar

True. I could tell you really poured a lot of care and thought into your reply. ✌️