Glennon Deserves to be Here Just as Much as You Do; Settle Down
Adult bullies are the worst kind of bully, because they're fueled by entitlement.
I usually don’t take things on like this. I don’t like to feed the beast, and I fear that’s what this may do.
But I’m reminded that I am the same little girl who picked up Alvin’s books when they were smacked out of his hands by the mean girls in first grade.
I’m the same girl who grabbed Michael by his big head of curly hair to stop him from throwing rocks at Joseph’s head in 12th grade.
I’m the same girl who dodged the left jab from a boy twice my size before clocking him in the nose at soccer camp, as I kept the little girl he was verbally assaulting safe.
I have never been able to sit back and watch a bully be a bully no matter where it’s happening. And this is no different.
I will try to remember my grace.
I’m disgusted at this new trend I’ve been seeing with women announcing how Glennon Doyle doesn’t deserve to be on Substack because she’s already famous / has had her shot / isn’t deserving of commingling with all of us ‘real writers’.
Most of the people I’ve seen posting their disdain for her have things like ‘trauma survivor’, ‘feminist’ and ‘mental health advocate’ written in feeble ink on their profile pages.
Darling, your jealousy is showing and it clashes with your bio.
This is a woman who became famous for publicly unzipping herself and showing the world that it’s ok to be messy and not have it all figured out. She has been very open about her mental health and addiction struggles.
Her book, Untamed, gave women permission to not be what society has told us for all of eternity to be. She has a podcast with her wife and sister called, We Can Do Hard Things, that lays everything about being alive on the table, and is a safe space for anyone and everyone.
She is an activist, and founded the all-female-led, nonprofit charity, Together Rising, that distributes various types of support to families, children and women in crisis.
She is an advocate for the people, and is also a person. A real person who is no less than one because of wherever her paycheck comes from.
Publicly declaring that one writer doesn’t deserve to be in a room with other writers simply because more people know her name is ludicrous. It’s gross and it’s shameful. Asking people to join a march to block her and get her removed is pathetic and sad.
It’s the adult version of smacking the little kid’s books out of his hands in the hallway. It’s the same as throwing rocks during lunch. It is quite literally the exact same as verbally assaulting that little girl at soccer camp.
And this is my right cross that makes your nose bleed.
I’ve been around enough humans in my life to know what drives this sort of behavior, and it’s disappointing that it exists off of an elementary school playground.
I do not personally know
. But she’s the kind of woman, and human, who makes you feel like you do. I, like so many other people in this world, discovered her words and read them when we needed to be told we were ok if we felt broken. She let us all feel a little bit better about what we were struggling with because she told us she’s been there too.She has opened up her life during many of her ‘messy middles’ and talked to us when the things are still hard… not just after she’s healed from them.
She wants us to be better. She wants us to be safe. And she’s willing to hold our hands through helping us get there.
And if that isn’t something we should be welcoming in every space, then I don’t know what is.
If you feel safer blocking someone that makes your nervous system vibrate, then you should do that. You should always take care of your insides and do what you need to do to feel your healthiest.
But demanding that a woman—who has devoted her entire adult life to helping others—be pulled from a public platform simply because she’s made money doing the thing you’re trying to do, says more about your coping mechanisms than it does anything else.
It tells me you’re hurting inside and haven’t figured out how to heal without taking from someone else who has. Or at the very least, someone who is boldly unafraid to talk about the hurt.
It tells me you aren’t happy, but pretend to be in order to keep moving forward. It tells me you must be loud and poke at someone else in order to mask what is broken inside of you.
There is enough space here for everyone. There is enough space in most spaces for everyone. And spearheading campaigns to take good people down is a practice I surely hope is dying soon.
Glennon won’t read this. I’m not writing it for her. But this can easily be used to analogize a lot of other ugly human things I also hope will die quickly.
Being the loudest one in every room isn’t a good look. It drowns out the humanity and distracts from what really matters.
We need more gentle, silent whisperers saying the good things. Glennon is one of them. She just happens to have a bigger microphone than the rest of us.
Be kinder.
‘Darling, your jealousy is showing and it clashes with your bio.’ 🤣
Ummm… huh? When did Substack become exclusive to whatever these people consider themselves? I would never have known if you hadn’t written about this ridiculousness!
I suspect that Glennon has more goodness in the tip of her little finger than most have in their entire bodies. She has done so much more than most to lift the voice and lives of ordinary people. She generally does not interview celebrities on her podcast but instead amplifies the messages and work of people who are wise and have something important to say. Even if they don't have huge platforms themselves. Actually, especially if they don't have huge platforms themselves.
There is an issue with those who have powerful platforms (including the big publishers) not being interested in good work but following those who have numbers behind them but Glennon's work itself counters that. I do not have a lot of followers or subscribers and probably never will. But I would never wish for her to have fewer so that I could have more - that's a nonsense. I do not feel threatened by her - I feel held, comforted and strengthened. Go Glennon - we need your work and are grateful for it.